I am speaking to the women who grew up following the crowd, playing small, staying quiet, trying to find the safe middle ground that wouldn’t draw too much attention. The ones that put others needs, wants and desires first. Those who lived powerlessly, denying their full body yes’s and no’s, who didn’t fully trust or know who they were because they spent decades mimicking others who seemingly had it all together. Those who felt lost in the sea of what they ‘should be’ doing and not actually paying attention to their own needs. Those longing for others to love them, ask questions, hold space, make them feel seen, heard and that their needs mattered.
Spending years in this powerless state took a toll on the woman I was unfolding into. The sometimes treacherous road that paved the way to my adulthood, led me to the strong, resilient, powerful, loving, whole, and aligned woman I am today. There will always be a few bumps on the journey, but the clarity gained from living life feeling insignificant and small gives pertinent contrast to this present day woman.
I learned many pieces of wisdom from the heavy pain and heartache. Looking back, I am able to see the limitations and gaps in loving myself fully. This clarity came from years of healing, self discovery, curiosity, and wanting more. I had to look back and recognize that I experienced certain situations the way I did because I did not know any better. The ‘know it all’ kid in me was certainly compensating for the actual amount of shit I was completely clueless about. My focus was survival based. Most of our unhealthy behaviors are. I was trying to fit into a crowd I didn’t belong to in the first place.
So what does it mean to be a woman?
Being an empowered woman is a feeling. It’s knowing who you are on a deep and intimate level. It’s choosing what you want to be part of your life, and what you don’t. It’s having boundaries. Imagine. Who knew what these even were, just a few years ago. It’s drawing a circle around you in the sand, taking in fulfillment, and leaving the rest.
Being a woman feels like magic when you are truly connected. It’s having a strong intuitive sense and actually following it. Trusting that you know what is best for you. We all have moments of needing outside validation, but this becomes less common as you step into your innate, divine, feminine power.
Being a woman is a balance of softness, kindness and love with strength, courage, and assertion. You stand up for your beliefs and values. You know what they are with certainty. You find comfort in connection and deeply meaningful conversations. You ask questions and are curious. You are direct and precise in your requests. You communicate clearly. You ask for support when it is needed. You check in on those you love because you personally know how much being supported means in moments of difficulty. And we all have them.
Being a woman is embracing your femininity. It is placing your hand on your chest for comfort and feeling yourself being held. It is allowing emotions to arise without holding back out of shame. Cry if you must. Let it out. Pent up energy is making us sick. Listen when others are sharing themselves with you. Hold space for difficulty. Show your people you love them. Let them feel the depths of your appreciation and admiration. It won’t go unnoticed.
When like-minded women gather, it’s a magnificent and magical experience. When we let our guards down and allow ourselves to be fully seen, basking in all of our grim and glory, we allow others to do the same. The truth of the matter is we are all struggling. Our struggles can range from a loved one dying, managing an illness, having a child you worry about every moment of the day, watching a spouse battle addiction or maybe you are. It could be that you are burned out from putting everyone’s needs ahead of your own, or feeling like you have to do it all alone. Maybe it’s forgetting who you are because you are drowning in the roles you play in life. You find yourself longing for a life that lights you up rather than bogs you down. Perhaps you are ready to grow but don’t know where to start or even where you are going.
These are the reasons I see value in holding sacred space for women. They allow women to be fully seen for all of who they are in a safe and non judgemental environment. These spaces are not for everyone. But there is a deep need for those who are looking to connect, feeling lost in some aspect of their current life. I believe in women standing together and encouraging each other by having conscious, vulnerable, and real conversations.
There is so much meaningfulness in being an empowered woman. For centuries, women have been shunned, quieted, and even killed for utilizing their gifts, voice, and opening their hearts. There is generational trauma that has trickled down throughout this prolonged oppression. We live in a time where women are now being valued for their innate power and wisdom. We are being considered equals in some cultures and within parts of the world. There is much work to be done. More of our voices need to be heard. It feels freeing knowing we hold more value and respect than ever before (with many exceptions).
This Women’s Revolution, as we know it, is keeping our planet alive. We need women’s nourishment and gentle touch to reach the roots of what grounds us to ourselves and one another. I am proud to be a woman and feel honoured to share space with many wise women to come.
